My Salvation Story...
I don't think there's been only one moment I can remember when Jesus became my Savior, but more of that being changed from glory to glory thing. For as long as I can remember hearing about Jesus, talking about Jesus, singing about Jesus and spending time in His presence has always been in my heart and filled me with a joy that I knew nothing else could. In my toddlerhood I was introduced to Him as I was "adopted" into the family of my babysitter who had a geneology of people who loved the Lord. That is where I believe the seeds were planted in me to desire that relationship and find fulfillment through Jesus. As I grew and my life was filled with different directions and different influences I never waivered in what I believed. I would go to a Christian summer camp every year until I was 13 and I can remember several times when they would ask who wanted to ask Jesus into their heart, I was ready and willing. Maybe the first time was when I was 8. It was always moving and left me feeling peace and joy. I remember expressing when I was 12 that I didn't understand the Bible and I believe the Message Bible had come out around that time and the visiting pastor at the camp gave me his. I still have it today... I felt like I was always searching for Jesus because I never really understood how to have a relationship with Him and only got glimpses of it through other people around me. We moved a lot growing up and never went to church regularly except on holidays or the days I would ask mom to take me and she would agree.
At 13 I had just started my first year of public school and the 7th grade. Definitely one of the worst years of my life. Up until then I had gone to a Christian school and was cocooned with people who had some foundation of Love. I quickly learned that in order to be liked, I had to be the "top" dog and fit in with the "cool" crowd. This of course lead me down a path away from everything I had known to be good, right and true. From 13 to 15 y.o. I lived a life full of partying, emotions, worldly behavior and didn't really care or connect with much about God. However, I was still searching for what could fill me and make me whole. By the end of my freshman year, I was begging my mom to send me away to a private Christian boarding school that I had learned of from friends at the camp I had gone to and my "adopted" family, the Richards. It seemed like people were so nice there and welcoming. I longed to feel like I belonged, and when God opened those doors we were all surprised. During my first year there I rededicated my life to God, entered into a real relationship with Him, got baptised by water and started living my life for Him in the way I knew. Finally I believe I had found what I was looking for. A life of wholeness, a life of belonging, a life of Truth and meaning.
Since then I have had my back sliding and coming back to wanting to live for only God but I can look back and see how God has taught me so many lessons, never left my side and brought me to a beautiful place of surrender. I'm still growing and learning but thats one of my favorite things about God. He allows us to learn from our mistakes instead of condemning us and at the same time Loves us way to much to leave us as we are. His Mercy and Love truly endure Forever.
"For I know the plans (thoughts) I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29: 11-13
